Thoughts

So, thoughts always mess me up. I want to do one thing, but I know I shouldn't. I've ever put up a barrier against me doing it. It's an easy to pass barrier, but every time I want to do it, the barrier is there reminding me of my determination not to.

I want to check Sarah Barker's blog. I know I shouldn't. She's gone from my life. It messes me up when I find out info about her. It makes me feel like crap. But, she was a part of my life, hell, she was my life, for almost two years. And so, I still have a lingering urge to see how her life is going. But I know that it will mess me up.

*sighs* Things are screwy. I want to also tell her about this blog. Maybe she would like to read what happens in my life. I don't know. But, if I invite her into my life again, I don't know if I would be able to take it. Word from the wise here: Don't be sexually immoral. It messes you up, and causes feelings that aren't real. I don't regret what I did, but I know that it was a mistake, and this is just a message for those out there that are in positions where things could mess up. Don't do it. I sometimes think back on Sarah, and now my thoughts are always tainted with what I did to her. (If anyone has questions on this, or needs some guidance on this topic, feel free to contact me. I'm not ashamed to talk about my mistakes, if it will help keep someone else from falling off the path.) I think I'll just wait awhile, and ask some friends for their opinion, then decide whether or not to tell her about this blog.

Cast

• Me: Confused soul in seek of guidance
• Sarah (Barker): Cause of all the confusion