Lostness

Heh, angsty post time. If you don't want to read me whine and complain, then stop.

I'm not gonna post about SICM. I mean, a lot happened there, but it's so far in the past now, that I can't remember it in detail, only the overall feeling of God's presence that I felt. I feel like crap for not remembering it, but that's the way it is. So, sorry, my stories are gone now. The only stories I will tell from SICM now are stories that other people tell me. My memories are down the drain.

In more recent news, I've felt really disconnected recently. Disconnected from work (and so I quit), disconnected from my friends (so I went to Arlington to see my homies there, and have tried to get together more with my compadres here), disconnected from God (gosh, I need to get my prayer butt in to gear), and then disconnected from life in general (as though I'm just kind of watching it all).

I quit my job at Steak 'n Shake. But only because I have a different job. I'm hoping that maybe it will work better. I'll be working as a server at a Cowboy Western themed steak house called Love and War in Texas. Maybe better pay, but I don't care that much. I just want to be connected again.

As a side benefit of not working at Steak 'n Shake, I no longer work with Sarah, so that's no longer a reason to not date. So, I talked with her, told her that the only reason not to now, is if she plain didn't want to date me. So, she said that she would at least go out on a date with me. A step in the right direction I guess. (Can someone explain the idea of gossip to me at some point, because I'm not sure if what I am about to say is gossip) Eric put a thought in my head though, and it makes me sad. He mentioned about Matt telling him how Sarah doesn't really like me, and is just being nice to me because that is the type of person she is. Now, I don't really think that much, because I think of Sarah as more straight forward than that, that she would tell me she didn't want to date me because she didn't like me, if that was the case. But still, it's a thought that's in my brain now. Stupid brain of mine.

By the way, I hate being the guy. Having to guess what the girl is thinking, and consider what move to make, and having to be the one to decide where you go on the date, what happens on it, who goes, and just does most of the decisions. Not to sound sexist here, but gosh. You women have it easy. Just flirt with the guy and wait. That's it. Then make a choice to stick with him, or go on. Gosh, I wish it was that easy for us. But, the whole point of this tangent, is me saying "I don't know where to go on a casual date." I've never done casual dating before. So, any ideas are welcome.

So I got nicely connected back in with my Arlington peeps last night. I skipped out of work after an hour, because they had to many people, and decided to go back to Arlington for the night. I had been trying to get together with Thomas for a few weeks, and just got so impatient that I decided to just go there. I got to see…

I got interupted. I may finish this post later. But this is what you get for now.

Off I go for ice cream.

Crisis

I broke yesterday. If you know about it, then okay. If you don't, but want to, then ask.

Also, I have a lot to say about SICM, but I've been up for twenty-four hours now (just got off of work), so I am gonna crash. If you want to hear what I have to say about SICM, then nag me, or I will forget.

That is all.

Cast

• Me: Poor and tired soul in need of rest, in all manners physical, financially, and emotionally
  

Washington

Just a quick post to say that I am in Washington. Typing on a qwerty keyboard. So this is gonna be short. But I am here, having fun, and loving it. More later.

Cast

• Me: Christian at SICM, having trouble typing

Mmm… Stuff

News everywhere. I started going to a Tuesday night bible study. And I like it. I meet with Glynn and some other guys, and even though they are all a lot older than me (late twenties or thirties for each of them, I think), it still works out really well.

I have moved my site to a different server. So now, instead of being on my laptop, it is on Eric's computer. But, as I just found out, Eric's server is down… How sad. I'll have to tell him to put it back up, but no one will be able to read this until after it's up again. Heh, kinda funny.

But, since my laptop is now no longer a server, I am going to make it a laptop again. And that means making it ready for games. So, Windows, I guess you are coming back. It doesn't make me happy, but I want it for games. I cry, really I do.

So this past recently, Sarah and I and other people have been out late playing cards most nights. Very fun. The only part that makes me sad is that I haven't had a chance to talk to Sarah, one on one. But, I can wait on that. Mostly, I enjoy her company, and I've had fun going out with four people for a game of cards. Makes me feel good.

But, I won't be doing that this week. At all. At work, they have decided to schedule me from seven till two or three, every day this week. And yes, I do mean seven in the morning. So, no late nights for me. Just makes me a little sad.

Two more things, and I promise that's it…

I underwent an appearance change this week. Started Saturday, with one event, and was decided yesterday (Monday). So, something is different about me. But, I'm not going to let you know unless you see me in person. Or wait till next Monday. Whichever comes first. Why Monday? Because I've decided to undergo another appearance change on Sunday. So, come Monday, I will post up a picture of me with both changes, and anyone that was clueless up to that point, can be let in on the secret.

And lastly. I got to hang with someone that I normally don't get to, yesterday. I was in a bind, and needed a drive someplace, so I called everyone in my phone (pretty much) to ask for a ride. Really, I only called the people I know pretty well, that live around here, but whatever. So, when none of them could do it, I called people that I don't know pretty well, and Alena was the one who responded to the challenge. All in all, I had fun spending time with her, and I think that we (the group that I am normally in) should invite her to more things, because she is a fun person. But, just a thought.

Cast

• Me: The ever-changing one
  
• Glynn: Mentor and leader in the church
  
• Eric: Compadre, but unreliable server
  
• Sarah: Friend, and sister to Weezer/Beezer
  
• Alena: A fun girl, able to help out a friend/acquaintance (wow, I butchered that word, but don't care to spell check)
  

Suckage

Grr, not having glasses sucks. I had thought that work would be okay, and that I would be able to at least wait tables, even if not well, but no. Can't at all, it requires vision way to much. So, since my glasses are broken (I hate sports), I was put on drive-through for today. Heh, oh yeah, my glasses are broke, if you didn't get that. So, if my spelling or grammer seems off, it's because I'm not really focusing on the text, and not seeing what I type because I don't want to strain my eyes that much. It begins to hurt, after all.

But, other than that, today was fun. I woke up and got to see a friend tha I hadn't been able to see since school ended, and that was fun. Then we went out to Cici'- and ate pizza, followed by a fun game of Wally-ball. Well, fun for everyone else. I don't know why I play sports, personally. Peer pressure, I guess. And the knowledge that I do need to get some physical activity in for myself. But, I really hate it when I dod it, because I know that I'm no good. And so does everyone else. The entire time we played today, my team kept getting closer and closer to me, because they knew that I would never be able to hit the ball back. I don't think they were angry at me, per se, but they were at least getting frustrated with me. And every sport that I play in, that happens. And then comes the second reason I hate sports. I always get hurt in them. Normally, I hurt my ankles somehow. But not today. Instead, I got a ball to the face (twice), and the second hit broke my glasses. Kinda sucks.

So, instead of playing sports, I recommend this for the next time anyone invites me anywhere. Board games. Pool. Bowling. Cards. Video games. I don't get hurt in any of those. So, I much prefer those options.

In other news, Sarah is not avoiding me. And I am veird/mean for thinking that. (or something)

Cast

• Me: The bling guy that keeps bumping into stuff
• Sarah: The non-avoidant girl
  

God's Grace

So, it's time to point some glory to heaven, guys and gals! God put me through some trials, just as was promised, but I gave it up to him, and most of it is sorted out. At least, the parts that I gave up to him. It really is a lesson to me that God is the one doing it all.

But, right now, life is good to me since I've realized (yet again) that I need His help. I am not sure if I mentioned it (and am too tired to look now), but I had to put my car in the shop for a while. Only a day, but still. But, it's all sorted out now, and Jasmine is her name. She's been treating me so well this past week, I'm so happy. *hugs life* Makes getting around so much easier.

A lot has happened that is good though. Sonic has new flavors, meaning I can get an apple limeade now (very good, by the way). I'm getting more hours at work (six days a week, and thirty two hours). Thomas is getting a truck (or was gonna get it yesterday (gosh, I need to call him…)). Eric is coming back. Oh yeah, I think I forgot to mention that Eric was gone… Well, Eric was gone. But now he is coming back, and that makes me happy. Robby is going out to pick him up tomorrow at six or so.

And, in addition to all that, I've had really late nights recently. Which, is not bad, at all. Last night, Sarah, Jamie (I think that's how you spell his name…), Chris, and I all went out to play cards. We stayed at Waffle-House and played until three something in the morning. Spades, of course. Chris and I won. And tonight, we went and played again when I got off of work. Minus Chris, plus Warren. I introduced the three others to a different game I used to play, called kent, but I'm not sure how well it went over. I think they might have liked it better if they had been more awake. But, after a few rounds of that, we went back to spades. Jamie and I, versus Warren and Sarah. They lost. But it was a very intense game, with two close encounters of Jamie and I losing, but pulling it back. And then winning from behind, when they thought they were safe and had at least two more hands. We played until six in the morning, and gosh it was fun.

And, on a semi-final note, I had thought that Sarah had been avoiding me, since I had asked her into a relationship and she had said no. But, as evinced by the past two nights, she wasn't, and I'm just weird for thinking that.

I feel like there's more. But, right now I need sleep. I mean, come on, I just played spades and drank coffee until six in the morning. So, farewell and good night.

Cast

• God: First and most important One in my life
  
• Me: Good boy, falling under God's grace
  
• Jasmine: Car of good standing
  
• Thomas: A brother in need of a car
  
• Eric: A friend, too far away from life on campus
  
• Sarah (S): A girl of attention, and friendly card player
  
• Jamie: Occasional partner in cards, and always fun
  
• Chris: Another friendly card player
  
• Warren: And yet another, but a loser (*raspberries*)